Why do we always put faith in those who continually let us down?  I often wonder why I give so much trust and heart to someone who was always good for one thing, letting me down.  I do not know if it was the smile or the way he made me feel like the world was alright as long as his arms were around me; I felt as if anything could happen as long as I had that feeling.

After I told you, myself I give up, we both knew I just don’t give up on someone.  No matter the time nor space I always was there waiting for you.  I was always willing to give you one more chance.  I was always willing to give up whatever was going on in my life just to have that feeling.  Even when I knew in my mind that you would eventually find a reason, find something flawed within me, you would go away.  I was the last option always the last choice and I allowed that to be okay.

Today, I wonder why I always put my heart on the line.  Why do I always believe you will change and want to be with me? Why did I believe you when you said you were here to stay; this time!  I am the one to hurt and cry while you were out to play.  I was always the one in mourning for the relationship that now seems a figment of my imagination.  Why do we put our trust in those who always break our souls?

I never found the answer to any of these questions I doubt I ever will.  For the one that I allowed to do all these things always laid the blame on me.  He never gave a straight answer never had known truth it seems.  I am still the one with heartache and him, well he may be reeling with glee at the pain he reveled onto me.

 

Lost Soul Searching

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